i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize