and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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