HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
