ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So squirting runs in the family.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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