.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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