I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
