theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
