I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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