every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
