why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Are we still banned from the library?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
