If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i think i just lost a toe
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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