i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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