You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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