kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dignity is for republicans.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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