I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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