I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
