fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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