I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
