Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
