I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We had sex on a dog bed..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
