Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
