How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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