I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
