he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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