i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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