Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Farmville is her only friend.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
