i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
