i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
