No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
