Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize