I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
