can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
