..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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