Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
