she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
