I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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