clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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