If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
not ubering you a puppy
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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