my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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