I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
