girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Let's get the cat blown out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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