i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize