So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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