..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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