I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
