I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He felt like a one man threesome
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
