I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize