GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
