Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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