ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
