remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize