She is in my trunk
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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