Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
