he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize