Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
