I molested 6 butterflies tonight
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
