He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
