He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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